Part Title : The Hidden Complications
“Look, I kinda get myself into some kind of date with Do Kyungsoo but–”
Luhan stood up abruptly, balled his fists as his face turned red in anger. “I don’t want to hear another word, both you and Chanyeol attend a date behind my back, you two have zero respect to this wise wingman!”
“Whoa, chill. It’s just a playdate, nothing serious. Like I said, you’re planner’s still great,” you clarified.
“Luhan, calm down wouldn’t you?”
“Calm? I don’t have time to calm the fuck down! My life suck, everything is like falling apart bit by bit and it’s not like I could let it out or anything, I keep everything to myself and it sucks. Screw life,” he panted after a furious word vomit.
“Are you still mad about the date or what?” you creased your brows, you got this feeling that he’s talking about something else, another problem way bigger than some stupid dates, but somehow it got all mixed up.
“You seriously have no idea,” he grunted and stormed away somewhere probably over the rainbow.
You didn’t quite spot Luhan anywhere throughout the day, not at class not anywhere. You tried to contact him but all your calls went straight to voicemail, he didn’t show up his annoying nose and you started to feel a little uneasy with the suddenly twisted situation.
“Is there something up with Luhan?” you sipped your banana milk slowly, talking to no one in particular.
“Nah, he’s as sick as always. He’s moody you know, he’ll come back.” Baekhyun shrugged eventually. You really wanted to trust Beakhyun, anyways he is Luhan’s friend for two years by now, he must’ve known everything about him.
“But he skipped three straight classes,” you argued.
“That’s not new,” Sehun murmured behind his morning newspaper, he looked sophisticated with his legs crossed in a very masculine way as his arms wide open holding the newspaper over his face, but actually he’s reading the weekly stupid comics.
“Did you fight with him?” Baekhyun asked with a bored tone, rubbing his eyes lazily.
“N-no! We argued a little but no big deal. Actually I was thinking that all this time he has something hidden from us, something big that bothered him so much but he can’t quite tell us. He looked like he is on the end of his rope, he could explode anytime, and he just did. He exploded.” You tried to state up some reasonable theory with these stupid morons.
“That’s new,” Sehun murmured again.
“Should we skip some classes and check on him?” Chanyeol beamed in with a shack-full of excitement.
Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly, “Park Chanyeol and skipping classes.”
You sighed and turned at Chanyeol’s direction, “Can you go after school? Check on him, I really want to come but I have guitar lesson after school,” you pleaded.
He looked down at you for a moment and then decided to place his big palms on both of your shoulders. “Everything’s going to be just fine, he’s just a moody moron,” he smiled and squeezed your shoulders lightly to assure you that everything is going to be alright.
“So you’ll check on him?”you confirmed.
“I’ll be a whole lot more happier if I could skip some classes, but fine, after-school should be okay,” he bounced his shoulders in joy.
“Sweet, I’ll come too.” Sehun volunteered willingly and everyone’s gaze turned towards Baekhyun expectantly, waiting for the guy’s reaction.
The pussy badass smiled regretfully before answering,
“Can’t. Asia’s Next Top Model is just like too hot to miss.”
“Sunbae, should I clean the bench first or the tables first?” Taehyung scratched the back of his head in confusion, like trying to make a life and death decision.
“At the end you have to clean them both, so it doesn’t matter actually,” you answered slowly as if teaching a kindergarten student how to tie their shoes.
He started to hum some random Big Bang’s songs as he busied himself with the splotches of dried sauce on the table. You watched him closely as your brain replayed his words about… some guy who likes you. Since that day he told you about it, you can’t quite took off your mind from it, the big ‘Who’ question haunted you day and night.
“Can you do me a favour?” you suddenly broke the short silence. You paused, waiting for his reaction, and when he just nodded you continued, “Can you please ask Baekhyun who’s the guy that he mentioned have some special interest on me? Just pretend you still like me, I bet he’ll spill it to you.” You shook your head hard, saving the little bit of dignity you still have on hand, “But seriously it’s not because I’m interested or anything.”
Dammit curiosity. Damn it.
“That’s a piece of cake,” he agreed. “Speaking of cake, can I have a slice of Rainbow Unicorn Cake for reward?”
“Yes, unicorn. Zombie fighters are all good friends with unicorns, I have a pet unicorn back at my hometown, I called him ‘V’, cool name right?” He explained happily clapping his hands like a retarded baby seal at the end.
“Hometown? The place where all zombie fighters live?” you asked without any intention to know the answer.
“No, I meant Daegu. My hometown, like literally.”
“Okay, fine I’ll buy you some cake, just stop with all this nonsense, my ears could bleed at any second hearing this kind of immature stuff,” you complained and he threw you his a thousand watt smile.
“Not just any cake sunbae, it has to be the Rainbow Uni–”
“Got it. Now, shut up.”
When you reached your home and finally, finally got the chance to charge your phone that has been dead for the last couple of hours.
There’s three missed calls from Luhan, and one from Chanyeol.
You called back Luhan, but went straight to voicemail again.
“Kidding me? You called me three times and now you’re not answering,” you murmured at your phone.
You called Chanyeol and he (thankfully) picks up on the second ring, form the sound of the background it sounds like he’s in a crowded place, people yelling at each other frantically but you can’t quite make out the words they’re yelling.
“What’s with the noises?” you asked first thing after he answered the call.
“It’s–uh Luhan,” he sighed deeply, sounded exasperated.
“He dragged you to a club? Is he drinking? Because if he is, I’m going straight there and slit his throat for making me worry about him when in fact he’s having a part–”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“HE JUMPED!” On the other end of the line, Chanyeol let out a painful yet emotional groan, hitting his head with his stone-hard fists.
“You were talking about hopscotch and skipping-rope, right?” you know the answer will let you down, you can feel the atmosphere suddenly turns dead heavy but you need to tangle your hope to the very last tiniest and weakest possibility.
“No, stupid. From his balcony, the second story of his house. Three and a half freaking meters from the fucking ground! Understand now? He’s done.” Chanyeol exclaimed in fury, you can feel his anger and sadness gripping your heart tight, sucked out all the air from your lungs.
“He’s wholly dead?” you whispered, your voice cracked at the very last word. Everything went too fast that your mind can’t keep up with the reality, it was too much for you to bear with.
“He’s in this hellhole called the state of coma.”
You hung up.
Now, everything seems to make a little more sense. All the little piece of shattered puzzle went to it’s place and formed a whole picture, it was like a complex enigma that took avery bit of your strength to finally understand what’s going with Luhan on all this time.
He didn’t just drink the soju out of curiosity, he’s frustrated in the inside and he feel like in need to insert some alcohol into his system to hopefully forget about his problems. He gets mad after Mandarin class and determined to skip that class not just because he’s a badass, that class must’ve remind him of his hometown where probably all his problems begin. He was playing ‘Dumb-Ways-To-Die’ not because he find that game is entertaining, it’s because that game about stupid deaths would make his life seems a whole lot easier, make his life look like a joke. And lastly, the doctor from the hospital that seems to know him. He was a patient in that hospital, he was consulting his problems to the therapist in that hospital.
You can’t believe you had missed those clues all this time, he left multiple hints like breadcrumbs and you missed it just like that. You thought it was nothing because you thought he was just a simple person, nobody realises that he was hiding an Everest of problems until it was all too late.
You could feel your heart falls to the pit of your stomach, your vision blurred and all your limbs felt numb like an overcooked noodles as a conclusion struck you like a bullet stuck inside your head.
His sudden explosion of anger and pressure ignited the urge to end his life. It’s not because he’s impulsive and it wasn’t a sudden attempt of suicide. The attempts has always been there, but however, your little fight with him is the climax of his numerous complication in life. And just to make the long story short,
You triggered it.
I. am. out. of. my. freaking. mind.
You see, this is the very first time I dipped a finger in the amazing world of angst. And my first shot over here my friend, was a total disaster. The angst part was such a failure I can’t quite bring myself to re-read it *(cover my face, bury myself in a pile of blankets)*
ANYWAY, did anyone saw the signs? Or was it too small? I’m definitely going back home to my comfort zone for the next upcoming chapters (a.k.a fluff) but also, Luhan’s problem would be revealed at the next chapter, I hope you guys are looking forward for it!
I can assure you that this would be the one and only angst part in this whole story, so yeah don’t worry.
I’ll be here, waiting for your comments, as always! 😀